On Attraction and Love
A collection of articles on attraction and love
March 13, 2020
Much is written on the subject of attractiveness. It has become synonymous with beauty. Attractive celebrities, attractive influencers, attractive art. And through this myopic lens, attraction becomes something ugly. Something that people have or do not have. Something to be jealous of. Something to be torn down. But it doesn't have to be. It can actually be something very beautiful indeed.
June 12, 2018
Making and keeping our connections to others remains one of the fundamental arts we learn in life. And having a stickybeak into other people's relationships is one of the fundamental past times. But if there's one thing psychologists are good at, it's identifying patterns in the way people behave. In that spirit, this model describes the process of people coming together used in the counselling office and by counsellors people-watching over coffee that's quite beautiful.
October 6, 2017
If you're anything like me (and here's hoping you aren't), then you might be delighted to hear that your inability to walk through life unaccompanied by the sounds of various clatters and clangings could actually make you look a little better looking in the eyes of others.
March 8, 2017
Most theories of relationships centre on the idea that humans are well-suited for, and biologically disposed toward forming 'pair-bonds'. But these traditional anthropological and evolutionary perspectives on sex are facing a growing threat from a more recent contender. The idea that human promiscuity is our natural state and community-style lovin' better explains the state of our modern sexuality.
February 20, 2017
Friendships are based on many of the same building blocks of intimacy as romance. In fact, up to a point, friends travel the same cognitive road as our lovers do. But friends can be more satisfying than our spouses, and more enjoyable, according to research. All this begs the question, what the hell is a friend and why are they so awesome?
January 22, 2017
What is attraction? Usually, we just think of it as what turns us on. But interpersonal attraction is so much bigger than this. At its core, attraction is the inclination to chase the good feeling you get from someone else. It's the word we use to describe what draws people together. And, it has aspects that are often overlooked.
August 5, 2015
Conversation is obviously a source of intimacy. But you mightn't expect it to be one of the predominant sources. Often we consider intimacy as a function of physical closeness. But intimicy is about relational closeness in any form. And conversation is an extremely powerful way to generate it.
July 8, 2015
Making and keeping our connections to others remains one of the fundamental arts we learn in life. And having a stickybeak into other people's relationships is one of the fundamental past times. This isn't always so gratifying though, because relationships don't always work out. This is how that looks.
January 29, 2015
Although there are many social and emotional factors that feed into who we feel butterflies for, there are a bunch of weird things left over from our more animalistic past that have a hand too. In this article we talk about three of the more unusual ones.
July 29, 2014
From our friends to our lovers, there are always imbalances in a relationship. William Schutz has a theory about why. He breaks it down into three things that determine how you pick your social networks, how well you click with people and whether or not things fall apart.
April 1, 2013
Psychologists love to put the mind into neat little boxes. Since love is such a complicated word with many meanings, you might be surprised to find out they managed to squeeze it into just a handful. In this article we talk about those types of love and how they interact, from friends and family to flings and forever afters.